Why you should use social media for dating (and why it works so well)
“Why are you still on Facebook? It's just another dating site!”. I can still here my first real girlfriend yell this at me almost 11 years ago. I make her sound neurotic, crazy and kind of jealous, but in fact she was great and to be honest.. kind of right.
The truth was, I’d been using it all the time to check out other girls I was simultaneously attracted to, see what were they up, who were they dating, who was their type.. and I’m pretty sure just as many girls through Facebook were keeping their tabs on me.
Funny enough my friend Steven said the other day, “Girls on Facebook is like waiting in line for the ferriswheel, just seeing if you can catch the next ride”. I laughed. He actually just deleted his Facebook to get OFF the ferriswheel, saying he really wanted to commit to this girl and is avoiding all distractions.
Well to each their own, but it shows you that while there’s a group of men quite cluelessly trying to meet women through social media, there’a a group out there that’s so successful at it they forcefully have to go without it.
In our book “Dating Decoded” I discuss the 5 principles you want your social media profiles to portray in full detail but for now here’s what I want you to take away.
Dating is changing.. heck society is changing. You just have to look at the buss stop to realize how weird people feel when you ask them what time the bus comes.
A couple of years ago I was living with a friend of mine in Barcelona, Spain for a few months. He had taught me the ropes on how to talk to women on the street, in coffee houses, during the day with people watching- instead of just at night in bars and clubs.
I would end up taking their number engage them over text message for a few days (or sometimes just hours) before taking them on an a quick coffee date.
Meeting women during the day is great tool in your arsenal, but it really started to take off when I incorporated Instagram into it.
Wait.. Instagram? Isn’t that that photo app, where girls post selfies of themselves with 7 different filters? Yes it is, but it’s also an INCREDIBLE way to sneak in under the radar and catch them where they least expect it.
Unlike Facebook where the male / female ratio is 51% / 49%, Instagram has 64% female users. The odds are already radically stacked in your favor and of the 36% male users the vast majority has literally no clue how to convey what we teach in Dating Decoded and most likely never will.
See, while the majority of men use social media to lurk at and like the pictures of the co-worker they’ve secretly always liked, when she posts that selfie is actually a great way to strike.
I can’t fully explain why and how, but more so then Facebook when women post a picture on Instagram- feedback is to be expected. In fact it’s the sole reason they post it. For most it’s a way to feel better about themselves.
Now without talking too much about the photos they take and why they take it, I want you to realize that this provides an opportunity to demonstrate your personality and set yourself apart from the other men she’s interacting with on a daily basis.
Oh and if you think, Instagram is just for 18 yr olds.. you’re wrong. Even my 71yr old mother is on Instagram. She doesn’t post selfies, but you’ll be finding an exceptional selection of garden photos if that’s your cup of tea.
And that’s just the thing.. IG is a photo sharing app. Women crave feedback, they need feedback. It’s their social measuring stick.
In our book Dating Decoded you’ll learn some interesting methods for using Instagram to date girls you’ve never met before, but to bring it back to my Barcelona story it works exceptionally well on girls you’ve met before but never had a 1-on-1 with.
Sometimes no matter how witty my texts, how great our face-to-face conversation I just couldn’t get them out. It was like hitting a brick wall.
See you think it’s crazy when you hear a girl Googled you but the reality is that these days people want to know who they’re dealing with. Whether you grew up in the 80’ies or not, information is so accessible these days that we’ve simply been conditioned to research before we commit.
That’s exactly what “good social media” did for me. It took away their objections. It took away all the reasons there were to NOT go out with me. “what if he’s a psychopath / serial killer / rapist”, "what do we have to talk about?”, “he’s cute, but we have nothing in common”. If done right, Instagram or even Facebook can build an incredible connection even BEFORE you go on a date.
Listen, I’m not particularly good looking, cool or smart - yet girls have literally messaged me “Hey! Why haven’t you commented on my photo” and in recent periods where I deactivated my Instagram I've had girls message me to come back.
In a recent Joe Rogan interview, Dan Blizerian told the story behind his own instagram. What started out as a way to make his ex jealous ended up becoming an “f*cking easy way to get some p*ssy”. Sorry for all the **.
If you’re like most mean you probably won’t meet a lot of women in your every day life. So aside from providing- like Dan Blizerian said a great way to meet new women, I think it’s an excellent way to hold on to the ones you do meet.
And that’s what I want you to take away from this article today..
Good social media is like telling a really good story. It creates open loops, just like directors of great TV shows intend to do- making sure you tune in for next weeks episode. Young, old, fat or ugly, if I’ve sparked your interest and you’re ready to learn more and have enough time to take your dating life to the next level check out our book Dating Decoded. We dedicate 3 big, fat chapters to social media, completely from meeting new girls, re-engaging old ones and how to incorporate this in your every day life all without being picture obsessed.